Just an Ordinary Girl
by CullenSweepsMeOffMyFeet
Summary: she pushed him away when she needed him most, a story about Bella and Edward
1. Chapter 1

Authors note...All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer I do not take credit for anything that didn't come from my own imagination

They were all here to party, she didn t even talk to any of these people any more but yet they were all guests at her 21rst Birthday Bash! Bella was standing there at the bar watching person after person come in and wish her a happy birthday none of them were there to celebrate her. Everyone just wanted an open bar. There were friends from high school a few boys she had dated as a child. Girls she hadn t seen since the ages of hide and seek. People she used to work with and people that were at one point and time the ones she divulged her secrets to.

Of course it wasn t her idea to have a party she would have liked nothing more than to forget another year had gone by. However her friends Rose and Alice thought it would do her some good to get out and mingle with friends. They took it upon themselves to invite everyone in Bella s address book. They even took her out shopping; Bella bought a new red dress. At 5 5 Bella was built beautifully she was nice and slender but not rail thin anymore like last year, she had long thick brown hair and the most beautiful brown eyes. The dress hung nicely on her showing off her assets. Bella enjoyed the dress. At least she knew she looked hot. Maybe she could just have a few drinks and ignore everyone.

As more people came through the door she realized there was still no sign of what was once her best friend, Angela; the past two years had been a giant downhill rollercoaster for them. They used to be so close staying up late laughing at each other. They saw every movie that ever came out. They were constantly on the phone. They did everything together even helped each other with school assignments, Bella just about lived at Angela s house. People that didn t know them frequently assumed they were sisters they were so inseparable. But ever since Bella started having a hard time going out and doing things that everyone else could just do at the drop of a hat Angela started hanging out with a different crowd.

It started at first as them just not going out as much and even when they did you could unmistakably see that Angela didn t want to be there. The girls still had their daily phone calls but than the phone calls slowed and pretty soon the text messages. After a while it was only the forwarded emails meant to make people laugh. But those had stopped a few months back; there was no contact among the two girls at all. At first she used to think that if she waited Angela would change her ways and start being close with her once more. They had been best friends since they were toddlers why would anyone want to give that up. Bella had matured so much over the past year that she now realized it was over between them.

Bella sat stirring her malibu baybreeze, wishing that someone would come take her out of this mess. Her friends Rose and Alice as if mind readers chose that moment to come grab her and push her out on the dance floor. Rose and Alice had no idea what she had gone through the past year they were the type of friends that when you got the chance you caught up and hung out. Not exactly the ones she would want to burden with her drama. Rose was so pretty tall thin long blonde hair, beautiful smile. Alice was short with short black hair and always had on a smile. Alice was a funny person but she was also seriously dedicated to her girls went to classes with Bella and even though they knew she hadn t been to school in the last year they never pried. They both knew Bella would open up to them when she was ready.

A little past one thirty Angela finally entered the club with her friend Jessica, Bella waved and went back to dancing with her friends. There was no point in trying to even start up a conversation with Angela when Jessica was around, Jessica was the new Bella; she replaced her in everyway. Bella had once attempted to make friends with the girl. The three of them had gone out about a year ago but Jessica and Angela stayed with each other and left Bella alone. They didn t even tell her when they were leaving. She caught them outside walking to the car. That was the last time Bella tried to hang out with Angela. Angela claimed total memory loss of that night because she was high but Bella knew that wasn t true

She finally started to feel the eighth Malibu bay breeze and by this point not only was she smiling and dancing with Rose and Alice, other friends had joined the circle and pictures started being taken. Rose started doing old dances like the robot and the cabbage patch. Alice decided to shake her ass and grind up on the other girls. Bella just laughed and laughed she was having such a great time. It was that exact moment that she saw him watching her, Edward the guy that had stolen her heart and didn t even know it. She pushed through the crowd eager to reach him.

He saw her coming and started to walk towards her. She was shoving through person after person each one trying to strike up conversation with her, she still saw him a few feet ahead. Just than her ex boyfriend Jacob grabbed her and tried to kiss her. As she pushed him off her she saw Edward give a disgusted look and turn to walk out the door. She tried to reach him but by the time she got to the door his car was speeding out of the parking lot. She just stood there wondering why he had come tonight.

Jessica was outside smoking a cigarette

Why are you out here when all of your friends are inside?

I just needed some fresh air. She proceeded to go back inside trying to avoid further questioning. Did Jessica really believe that Bella would confide in her? Ha! Not likely!

As she started back towards her friends, Jacob started dancing with her apologizing for the kiss. She understood Jacob thought every woman wanted him and sixty percent of the time he was accurate. Jacob was 6 3 tall muscular with brown eyes. But Bella never thought of him that way anymore when they dated he cheated on her everyday with anything that could be considered female. The boy also wasn t happy with his life he always told some crazy story that could never have happened. Let s just put it this way the boy had more stories than Walt Disney. Bella was no longer attracted to him and also not dense enough to go back to that situation.

The Bouncer was trying to get the rest of the crowd to leave so they could close up for the night and Bella was so smashed that she had to be carried by friends to Rose s Car. She couldn t stop thanking Rose and Alice she really had fun. She knew she would regret it in the morning though; her stomach still hadn t recovered from all the medication.


	2. Chapter 2

She spent the night lying in bed, tossing and turning. Bella couldn t get Edwards face out of her mind. Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I let him have this hold on me? Questions kept repeating themselves in her head. Her migraine was worsening, how was she going to make it through work tomorrow? She stared longingly at his picture knowing that she would never again have him in her life. Placing the old frame down she wiped away the mist that had formed in the corner of her eyes finally drifting off to sleep.

Waking up the next morning exhausted and hung over she made her way to Whalen s corner store to pick up her old hangover favorite a toasted bagel with butter and a Sprite. She looked atrocious with her hair flying everywhere and her outfit from the night before hanging in certain places and bunched up in others. Heels having been replaced with slippers eye makeup running. People stared at her in line but she didn t even care she actually had a good time last night. For the first time in a very long time she actually felt her age.

She knew she had to go home and clean herself up she had a doctor s appointment today on her actual birthday. Bella would rather get hit by the bus crossing back from the store than go to this was a nervous wreck, her stomach was probably more upset over what the doctor might say than over the alcohol.

Doctor Carlise s office was always dreadful. As cheery as he had tried to decorate it for his patients, it still didn't help. His walls were painted green and were covered with paintings of sunsets and flowers and families at picnics. She never enjoyed his awful smile and the distinct smell of cigarettes underneath his smug cologne. The doctor never had any good news, always the same story. There is nothing new with your cell count. Still need to take this and that. She had been off of the radiation for six months now and the chemo for two weeks, she was hoping to hear just one word today. She had been in and out of the hospital for months. Bella promised herself that she would never go back. She just wanted to live what was left of her life no matter how long or short that was.

Although He always tried to work with her schedule it still aggravated her having to stop in the office so often. She was finally starting to feel better, finally able to catch up with her school work. It wasn t the same of course she had not been able to return to the university and was only able to take online courses. She was also able to go back to working at the clothing boutique. It was nice; the girls there (with the exception of last night) were the only people she had spoken to all summer. Her old friends were all off doing their own thing she felt like they had nothing in common anymore. They were with the crowd who could go away for the summer who didn t have to constantly check in with their physician. The people who were normal and it didn t matter if they got a cold or a cut because they were healthy and would bounce right back.

It had been two years since she found out she had Leukemia. It was hard for her because she had no family. Bella s mother had passed away five years ago. She missed her terribly her mother was so loving the two had such a great relationship and were best friends more than mother and daughter. Bella s father had disappeared when she was ten no one ever found out what had happened to him. Her mother suspected it was over money. Her dad spent many nights at the track gambling all the bill money away. The police had never found any evidence of foul play. Bella had hopes as a child that her daddy would come home but her mother knew better she knew it was just the two of them that her husband would never intentionally leave them like that and that he had to be dead somewhere.

In the beginning Angela had stayed by her side. Night after night, Angela would help her through her chemo treatments. After the first few months when things were not getting any better Angela started coming up less and less So Bella had to spend all her time hospitalized with no visitors of course she made friends with the nurses and as only could be expected she made friends with the other patients often times losing a friend to the same dreadful disease she had in her own body.

Bella never blamed Angela for not coming to the hospital but when she was able to go home and live almost normally Angela was to busy to make time for her. Bella couldn t understand she thought that Angela would want to rekindle their friendship when she wasn t so sick. Angela never gave a reason, always reassured her that she was still her best friend. But actions speak much louder than words and the way Angela acted and the way she spoke told Bella volumes.

Dr Carlise finally came into the room glanced at her chart and smiled the biggest smile she ever saw him wear. Today is the day! Bella, you have finally reached remission. Of course . But she drowned him out she couldn t believe what she had just heard the tears were falling down her cheeks finally she had hope that she was going to make it. Bella leaped out of the chair and despite the cigarette smell gave the doc a huge hug! She couldn t stop herself Thank you so much O God thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

About an hour into her work day when the customers had started to dye down, she was scribbling furiously on her notepad I never meant to hurt you I m sorry that I lied I m so sorry if I ever made u feel like u might cry. Emily peeked over her shoulder,

Whatcha doing?

Emily had known everything going on in Bella s life Bella had to quit when she couldn t stay out of the hospital for longer than two weeks. When Bella had finally gotten the treatments under control, it was Emily who convinced the owner of the shop to rehire Bella. There was no use lying to her. She would see right through her fa ade.

I can t stop thinking of him. I try and try and I just damn it I just want him. I wish it had never happened. Why did this all have to happen to me?

You got it bad girl! I don t know why you didn t trust him to make his own decision about you.

What do you mean?

Bells listen, you re a smart girl but you made a stupid decision.

She put the pen down and let out a sigh why should she feel such anguish I need to clear my mind. she started to stare out the window of the boutique leaning over the counter legs crossed one behind the other while she stared she got lost in thought daydreaming about her knight in shining armor it seemed like only yesterday he was in her life opening car doors for her never showing up without a beautiful arrangement of flowers she was so miserable that he was not in her life she knew it was her fault. She didn t want him to be with her in the hospital didn t want him to watch her die. He had to remember her the way she was so she told him that she had to let him go never giving him a reason. He told all his friends she couldn t handle something good in her life. That she would rather be miserable and alone, she knew this shouldn t bother her that he was only trying to make himself feel better. Now that there was a good chance that she would grow to be an old woman maybe now she could finally tell him why she left him all alone that night

On the drive back to her house, she turned the radio up and tried to concentrate on the road. She had all the windows down, enjoying the wind blowing through her long locks (that had finally grown back in). She did the right thing, she knew she did, he was happy now she didn t want to destroy that. She had just been through so much lately. She missed his companionship, the way he always made her feel better. She remembered watching her own mother die, what a terrible experience to watch the one you love deteriorate in front of your eyes. Such helplessness knowing there was nothing you could do for them. She hadn t wanted him to go through that she loved him enough to let him go.

Bella remembered when they first met, She had been in Bookworms looking for a good read and he was sitting at the table drinking a cappuccino and reading a Stephen King Novel but she could feel his eyes staring at her over the book, yet every time she glanced in that direction he was reading the book again. At the checkout line she saw him again he was two people ahead of her in line. Right away she felt an instant attraction to him it was something about his smile. It was just so genuine.

Next

Startled she proceeded to pay for her purchase and knocked the image of this sexy male out of her head.

Allow Me

He had her bag before she even had the chance to say no.

I m Edward and he held out his hand With the exception of interviews she never remembered shaking someone s hand.

Bella she half told half asked

Well Bella I hope you didn t have any prior plans.

Why s that?

Well, because I am taking you out to dinner tonight.

Is that so?

Sure enough she agreed. He allowed her to drive to the restaurant that night so that she felt safer not just getting in the car with some stranger but how did he know if she would really show up or not she could easily have just gone home. But that smile that smile made her want to know everything about him.  
When she reached The Creek , a nice restaurant on the outskirts of town, Edward was standing outside waiting for her with a single rose in his hand. She felt safe from the start not even questioning it.

Did you really have plans to break?

Just reading the books I bought today.

Good I don t ever do this sort of thing, but since the moment I saw you I just had to know you.

Laughing Bella said I am glad to hear that I never do this either, I thought I was insane today.

They talked and laughed through dinner having a very nice time staying well past the arrival of the bill. Throughout dinner they talked openly about their lives. He told her about his parents, Mom was a decorator Dad was a doctor. They never had any other children and they were currently divorced. He never got over the divorce it traumatized him. He also hated having such a small family. He told her when he was ready he wanted a large family with lots of kids. She told him pieces of her life but never went into detail about her mother. That was a relationship no one could understand unless they saw it with their own eyes.

Edward walked her to her car.

May I see you again?

I would really like that.

Well than can I have your number.

She wrote her number down on a napkin and waited to see if he would kiss her goodbye.  
But he just shook her hand again and said goodnight.

After locking her front door that night the phone started ringing she was hoping it was him already. She had to keep telling herself. Get a Grip Bella you just left him you hardly know him. Of course it was Angela on the phone wondering where the hell she had been all night.

She told Angela every detail of her interesting night.

After much scolding, Angela finally realized that her best friend was ok. She tried to tell Bella to slow down and get to know him find out more about him.  
Christ Bella He could be a serial killer!

Bella laughed so hard she almost cried. Angela believe me he is no serial killer.

She couldn t stop picturing him. He was taller than her but only by a few inches. He was thin but built very nicely. No viewable tattoos unlike her ex Jacob. He had emerald green eyes and bronze sex hair. He had a smile that lit up his whole face. No way was this hand shaking guy a serial killer. Bella shook the memories away from her mind. She had to force herself back to reality. She turned the car around and finally figured out what it is that she should do. 


	4. Chapter 4

Even though the quaint cafe was located on the busiest street in town it was always a joy to go to, with its mannered workers and inviting atmosphere. The cafe was always packed with groups of people that ranged in age. The older couples would come in for a change of scenery while the teenagers would come in with their friends for a place to hang out after school. People came from all over town to enjoy the menu of Emerald Cafe. She herself often dined there. But today wasn t an ordinary day today this plain yet pretty young woman was standing in the doorway looking out into the dining area. Would she really find the courage within herself to do what it is that she had come here to do?

Emerald's crowd was overly loud but she couldn t hear that, all she heard was her own rapid heart beat, getting gradually louder with every passing second. She could see him sitting there with all of his friends and her. Even though it didn t matter anymore, she looked at every part of this new girlfriend making mental notes of her competition, everything from her smile to her big green eyes made her stomach turn with envy. Sure she was pretty, talented, but what about her attracted him. She just seemed to be to into herself. Edward was pretty laid back, he wouldn t hurt a fly. Why would he want to be with such a, well a bitch?

She began to daydream of times that they had spent together. Laying together, attempting to watch a movie, but being more interested in each other to actually pay attention to what was going on. Going to the local mall just to hang out and be with each other. Not even realizing it but letting the words 'I love you' slip out without over contemplating a reaction. Laughing together, sharing stories. He was intelligent with a great sense of humor. She could lay there and listen to him for hours. He complimented her everyday and taught her to feel good about herself. She had low self esteem but everyday he helped to build it up. He told her she was brilliant, beautiful, and sweet. She believed these things about herself but only for the brief minutes that she heard them coming from his lips.

One particular night he had taken her out to dinner at their favorite restaurant. It was where they had their first date; they always sat at the same table where they had sat that first night. During the dinner she asked him why he liked her so much and he had replied

"I think you are different from any other girl I have met. You don't care what we do as long as we are together. I can honestly look you straight in the eyes and tell you I love you and mean every word. Your amazing in everyway, I wouldn't change anything about you your perfect and any guy would be lucky to have you. But you chose me.

And that night two years ago she will never forget when she stood there crying telling him it was over he was so gracious holding her while she cried and responding with

"Thanks for at one point showing me what love was, thanks for all the good times. The memories will be with me forever.

She had not seen or spoken to him since. Snapping back to reality the here and now, realizing that the past will forever remain a memory. This is it, my last chance to get these feelings off my chest. I need to tell him so these thoughts stop eating at me.

Since they had broken up, he had changed he had become mean and disrespectful. She would often hear of the immature things he would say about her to mutual friends. No matter she thought I can't worry about the person he is now I came here to speak to the person I once knew. She smoothed her hair, straightened out her blouse, held her head up high and took a deep breath. She than began her long walk to him. At that exact moment he glanced up and caught sight of her.  
His face went white he looked like he wanted to disappear. She noticed that he was staring at her, by now the whole table was watching her approach. She wanted to turn back but knew it was too late. He was probably just afraid she would mention him coming to her party. The girlfriend wouldn t appreciate that one. She kept eye contact the entire time she was walking to him.

After what felt like forever, she was standing directly in front of him, the words were there but her mind was jumbled and she couldn't get them out. Her hands began to shake she felt as if she might faint. The friends were all looking at each other waiting for him to tell her to get lost. Finally he smiled at her, the smile she remembered from nights long ago. His smile made her heart stop racing and her hands stop shaking. In her mind everyone else had vanished and she was left alone with him in what was once their own little world.' The new girlfriend looked at her with a coy smile knowing that she had nothing to fear her boyfriend hated this girl and wanted nothing to do with her; this girl was just standing here making a fool out of herself for nothing. The girlfriend laughed out loud.

She wanted to tell him so much but she couldn t bring herself to do it so she just said

Hey.

He just stared into her eyes eager to hear more. His so called friends were exchanging glances of disbelief. The whole cafe had actually calmed down and everyone was intently watching them as if they were putting on a play. She began to blush but continued to walk towards the counter. She couldn t believe herself she chickened out. Sitting down and drinking a cup of tea she thought of all the things she had wanted to say. I am still in love with you, I fell in love with you the moment I met you and I have loved you every second since. I only left you because I thought it would be best I never thought I would recover.

She turned slowly and stopped, caught his girl staring at her, making her feel inadequate. She decided it would be best if she just left no one could possibly understand what she was going through. She found herself at the near by playground and sat down on the swing set, longing for a time long ago when she was a child and didn t have these emotions and problems. She began to swing slowly allowing her tears to finally break the damn inside. A strangled cry escaped her throat followed by sobs. She repeatedly told herself that it would be okay and someday with someone she would find that butterfly in your stomach happiness that she had lost. 


	5. Chapter 5

Through out the rest of the summer she continued to work at the boutique and was determined to push Edward from her mind. When fall semester came, she finally decided to actually go to school everyday no more internet courses she wanted to be a member of society. Washington State University was a large university it had a well rounded curriculum she was currently an English Lit Major. She wasn t quite sure if she wanted to continue to pursue that but she knew that no matter what she decided on she would be able to get her degree. Besides going to her classes and the boutique Bella had started to date again. Alice and Rose both were in cahoots with each other. They continuously set her up on these blind dates. Even though she didn t want to go they knew she wouldn t stand someone up. They just wanted to see her happy to see her get out of the house. Often times she would beg her friends to make it a double. After many bad first dates that led to her giving up on men all together she met Mike. He was extremely smart. He was funny charming and they got along well. She wasn t exactly attracted to him but she was very fond of him. If anything at all at least she had made a new friend.

Mike took her out often, and she started to think that she could see herself staying with him. They had no reason to argue and everything between them ran smoothly. He was kind and he had goals set for himself. They laughed a lot. He took her ice skating and taught her how to play guitar. Their relationship was so well rounded. She was happy not over the top happy but she was smiling again.

At one of her therapy sessions, (Doctor Carlise had forced her into starting that when he had diagnosed her) she mentioned how her life was lacking passion. The therapist suggested trying something new, something that Bella would never think to do. So Bella decided to try out for the school musical. They were doing wicked one of her favorites she was determined to try to play the part of Elphaba.

The day of auditions quickly approached and she was nervous, she had never sung in front of anyone before. The first person trying for the role of Elphaba was a total mess she tripped over the costume that she had showed up in and forgot her lines. The next few girls were ok but nothing special. She was in the back now warming up and she heard a beautiful voice from the stage. Great whoever that is will definitely get this part I don t have a shot in hell against a voice like that. She went over to the stage just as the Drama professor was telling the girl to read the lines for Galinda not Elphaba. Blondie on stage looked really pissed off and than it hit her Blondie was Edward s girlfriend, Tanya.

Her name was called next Tanya must have recognized it because her eyes went wide as she stared towards the back of the auditorium. Bella had chosen Defying Gravity to sing as an audition. Halfway through the professor stopped her. You re doing very well but I think you should try a different song one that might have more meaning to you. The piano started to play. She started to sing he could be that boy but I m not that girl that s when she noticed them both sitting in the last row, Tanya with a miserable look on her face and Edward smiling staring at her intently. When she finished the song, the professor actually stood up to applaud Congratulations Bella you are going to play Miss Elphaba in our play.

Bella just stood there smiling staring into Edwards eyes as if no one else was in the room. Tanya pushed past Edward and hurried out of the auditorium. Edward shrugged at Bella and got up to follow Tanya.

In the bathroom Tanya was looking in the mirror trying to convince her self.

I have nothing to lose they wanted me to play Galinda because I am pretty and popular Elphaba is just a miserable ugly person that s why they chose Bella I hope Edward doesn t stick around rehearsals why did I convince him to become stage crew? .

After she left Bella finally came out from the stall. Why on earth was Tanya nervous about Edward? She would never try to come between them. Edward is happy with Tanya and she had Mike. Maybe Tanya just really wanted to play Elphaba.

On the way to psychology class she saw Edward and Tanya outside of the Library they looked like they were arguing about something but she was late and couldn t seem to figure out what. After she turned the corner she felt him grab her arm.

Hey Bella, I just wanted to say congratulations. You did really well today. I didn t know you were interested in acting.

Thank you. I didn t think I was interested, But I really love this play.

Tanya walked up to them and gave Edward a nasty look.

Well good luck Bella. See ya around.

See ya!

Bella didn t know what to make of this. Besides at the diner when she had said hello to him, they hadn t spoken for two years, now he is approaching her behind his girls back? She really wished she could call Angela and see what she thought about all this. She knew that Angela and Edward spoke a few times after the breakup. At dinner that night with Mike Bella was extremely quiet. He kept trying to make small talk with her but she just couldn t focus on anything he said. She basically sat there pushing her food around her plate.

Let s get you home.

Are you sure? It s really early.

Yea you seem like you need a good nights sleep.

Ok thanks

By the way how did you do today with your audition?

Opps! I meant to tell you I got the part.

Wow you seemed more excited last week when you told me you were going to try out.

Sorry I m just not feeling myself tonight. 


	6. Chapter 6

That night Bella sat doing her King Henry the VIII essay online. Her instant messenger box appeared out of nowhere. The screen name pianoguy20 she recognized immediately. She accepted the im.

Hey

Hey

I would really like to catch up with you sometime

Really, you would?

Yea could we meet up?

I guess let me know when and where

Tonight at our park

Wow that soon does he really want to meet up with me or is this Tanya playing a mean joke. I guess that is a chance I will have to take I really would love to see him.

She spent a lot of time contemplating what to wear, if it was Edward she wanted to look good but if it was a joke she didn t want to be sitting out there looking like a fool. She went with a pair of jeans and her little blue top, she knew that he used to love that shirt on her and now that she was healthy again she finally fit back into it.

She went to the park and sat on the bench waiting and waiting feeling even more like a fool. He wasn t coming she knew she was being played. She began to cry. After some time had passed she heard someone approaching, figuring it was a jogger she wiped away her tears and got up to leave.

Wait!

Recognizing his voice immediately she stopped dead in her tracks, her breathing became too hard for her chest. She looked at him praying that he wouldn t allow her heart to break anymore than it had. He held out a single white rose, her favorite. She accepted it and they walked together to the closest bench.

He seemed nervous I don t know why I m here When she didn t respond he continued.  
That day I saw you at the diner I thought you were going to say more to me I could see it on your face.

She took his hand and they began walking around the winding dirt path, silence sat between them a comfortable silence.  
I have been wondering what it was that you wanted to say. She nodded tears once again filling up her big blue eyes.

She looked him in the eyes.

Why did you come to my birthday party?

Why did you kiss Jacob? Sighing Bella decided to ignore him.

Why did you leave without talking to me?

Because when I saw you with Jacob I knew it was a mistake to come.

Looking into his eyes was just too much she couldn t control herself she started to sob. She started to walk away. He grabbed her arms and spun her around.

Damn it! Why did you have to come back into my life? After all this time I m finally happy again. I did everything and anything. I loved you with all my heart, but you choose to throw it all back at me like I'm nothing. What am I supposed to do now? He yelled

Tears fell harder upon her cheeks. She tried to wiggle free; she needed to run away from him now. He wasn t having it he continued to hold her. Slowly his face got soft and he realized the pain she was in. He pulled her closer and held her until she let out her last sob.

What can I do? Babe please let me know what I can do to make you smile again.

What can you do you can kiss me for starters, and you can hold me and love me and never let me go. But she couldn t bring herself to tell him the truth. She didn t want his pity she wanted him to look at her and see a normal girl not someone with Leukemia.

Edward, I m glad that you came out here tonight, I hope that we can be friends but I think you should go home now.

She smiled at him than... a fake smile; she had to pretend to be strong. She couldn't ruin his life again. She started to walk away slowly, slightly hoping that he would follow but this time he didn't he just let her walk out of his life...again.

Between work classes and play practice life was pretty busy and Bella was feeling exhausted. Mike was spending more and more time at her house. She felt like she was coming down with the flu. Mike kept telling her to go see a doctor and she kept putting it off. She knew that Dr Carlise would make her go through all these tests over just a little stomach bug.

Bella entered the auditorium for rehearsal, he was sitting on the stage painting the scenery he looked gorgeous even with the pink paint splatters on his face and in his hair. He noticed her looking at him and he turned his back and continued working. She knew she had screwed up the last time she saw him but she just felt too vulnerable to tell him the truth. She didn t want to jeopardize the relationship he currently had. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and love him but she knew that she had hurt him to much from before, she just wanted him to be happy but she couldn t stop herself from the way she felt.

Fine if he wants to hate me that s just fine. He has a girl I need to just forget him. God why do I do this to myself?

She went up on stage to rehearse her lines with Tanya. The tension on the stage during the rehearsal was so intense that they really made the characters come to life.

Both girls playing their parts singing What is this feeling?

WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN AND NEW?  
I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU MY PULSE IS RUSHING MY HEAD IS REELING OH, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Mrs. Cope stood up with applause. Superb Girls Absolutely splendid! You ladies have such talent. You really act as if you detest each other.


	7. Chapter 7

After rehearsal she spied Tanya in the corner of the stage giving Edward a massage. Tanya gave Bella the dirtiest look and kissed Edward right then and there. Bella rolled her eyes and left.

She finally went to see Dr Carlise when she had to miss class for the third day in a row.

Bella I don t understand why you would wait so long to come see me you know how seriously a virus can affect you.

I was just starting to feel normal I didn t want to screw that up.

Well you know you have to have test run. We have to check on your cells.

She went home that night and decided to tell Mike the truth about her past.

Why wouldn t you have told me this in the beginning?

I had a serious illness I thought I was cured I still may be. I didn t think that it was relevant to our relationship.

Well what happens if the cancer is back?

Well I will have to decide if I want treatment.

Decide if you want treatment? What is there to decide? Do you want to die?

No! But the treatment makes me so sick I wish I were dead its no way for me to live my life. I want to spend the time I have left having fun.

Bella, I m sorry but I can t do this. I can t be with someone who is going to die.

Mike, you could walk across the street right now and be hit by a bus and I still take the chance of being with you. She was screaming now enraged by his attitude.

I just can t do it I m sorry. He walked out of her life. She began to weep, she was more upset for the reasoning why he was leaving her than the fact that he was leaving her. Isn t this the same reason I never told Edward I would rather leave him than allow him to hurt me this way.

As the weeks passed Edward continued to ignore Bella during rehearsals. Tanya continued with the dirty looks and vicious remarks. Bella couldn t begin to comprehend why Tanya would feel so threatened. Edward wasn t even looking at her.

She received an email from an address she didn t recognize.

He still loves you. Your picture is up in his dorm. You should let him know you feel the same way he doesn t think you do.

She deleted it. Who cared what Mike needed she didn t care he hadn t cared about what she had needed.

Dr Carlise called to tell her she needed to start the chemo again She told him that she wanted to wait until the end of the semester when the play was over she promised to be admitted. She knew she was getting sicker but she just couldn t stop living she was finally starting to feel human again.

It was finally opening night. She was getting ready to go on stage when she spotted Tanya.

Good Luck Tonight! Not that you will need it!

Hesitantly Tanya responded Did you get my email?

What Email?

The email I sent you about Edward.

That was you?

Um duh, who did you think it was?

I had thought it was about this guy I was seeing we had just broken up a few weeks ago.

Look I broke up with him, I know how he feels about you I knew it all along He will never feel that way about me. But he wasn t going to be the one to admit that so I made the decision for him. So go be with him ok I love him a lot I just want him to be happy and he will be... with you.

Tanya, if you only knew.

But the conversation was cut short the girls had to get to their places. Edward watched from the side of the stage the whole time she could feel his eyes on her.

They did a magnificent job and at the end of the play she winked at Edward.

During the Cast party she felt faint she knew she needed to go home and lay down. She kept trying to say goodbye and everyone kept dragging her over to meet more people. She was feeling worse and worse she knew she had to leave. She couldn t take it anymore and she pushed people out of her way and started walking towards the door.

Edward saw that she was leaving; he rushed over to her just in time. Bella collapsed onto the floor.

Bella!

Help please someone help us! Someone call an ambulance! Wake up Bella!

When the ambulance arrived the paramedics took her straight to the hospital. Edward jumped into the back and started to tell them her name and what had happened. The paramedic spotted a hospital bracelet under her sleeve she had never removed it from her visit to Dr Carlise the other day. The medic called the doctor and told him what was happening.

Edward paced up and down the hallways of the hospital asking every nurse and doctor that went in and out of her room to explain to him what was going on.

When she was finally stable enough for visitors, the nurse allowed Edward to go into the room.

She was so pale and fragile lying on the bed with all these wires coming out of her. She didn t look at all like herself.

Bella, I need you to tell me what is going on. I know that this isn t normal. 


	8. Chapter 8

Edward, do you remember the day at the diner, I approached you as if I had something to tell you and than I just said hi and ran off.

Edward nodded his head and continued to stare into her eyes.

I wanted to share something with you that day. This may come as a shock. I had just come from the doctors, and finally for the first time in two years I had heard the best news of my life.

The truth is I was told I had reached remission. I have Leukemia and after spending the last two years in and out of hospitals, having radiation and chemotherapy. I was told that it was all over it was gone. Obviously that isn t true now; I have reached the point where Chemo won t help.

Why haven t you told me this before? Can I do anything to help you?

I didn t want you to get involved you don t need some sick girl in your life.

Wait two years? You knew this when you left me? You pushed me away?

She started crying silent tears as she nodded her head.

No matter what the circumstance I would rather have you in my life than anyone else. You mean the world to me. Even after everything we have been through you re the only person in this world who I could ever love. It s always been you! You re the only girl I have ever loved. You liked me for me and that is something I will never forget. I enjoyed every moment we shared together. You broke my heart when you decided to end things between us.

He looked her deeply in the eyes, trying to make her understand that he meant every word. He has only loved her he would do anything in his power to make her happy. She shook her head. "No! I could not let you have any parts of this; you have too much going on in your life to be worried about me. I'll be okay, I'm a fighter. There s nothing they can throw my way that I can't handle.

Obviously you re not in any position to argue with me. Here is what is going to happen. I am going to be here for you and you are going to let me.

Edward...

Nope I don t want no arguments unless you are going to get hospital security to force me out I m not going anywhere. Bella I want to be with you and if you re here in this crummy hospital that s where I am too.

Edward, it s much more serious this time, they told me that if I don t get a bone marrow transplant soon that I won t be around much longer.

Bella, It is going to be ok I promise just relax.

Edward bone marrow transplant is a difficult procedure to go through. I am going to have to go back through chemo and radiation until they can find me a donor, if they can find me a donor. And if I do get the marrow I will be more susceptible to infections while I am trying to heal. It is a very long process and I don t know if I can handle it I have been through so much already.

You don t have to make that decision right this minute, sleep on it see how you feel in the morning. Edward held her hand and as she dozed back off to sleep he allowed his own tears to fall.

When Bella woke the next morning she suspected that the whole ordeal had been a dream but when she woke up connected to machines she searched the room for Edward s face. He wasn t there, well I guess the medicine made me goofy, its better this way anyway Edward belongs in the land of the living.

Good morning Sunshine. Edward said as he walked in with a bag full of board games, puzzle books, cards, and coloring books.

Edward, what are you doing here?

I told you last night, as long as you re here I am here and since the doctor said that it s probably going to be a while I figured we would need plenty to keep us occupied so you don t get sick of me.

Edward, I well I just want to say thank you.

You re welcome Bella.

By the way, I could never be sick of you.

I hope that is true my dear. 


	9. Chapter 9

Since Bella had no family and the list for donors is so long Edward wanted to take action and quickly. He got as many students at the campus involved as he could they needed a bone marrow transplant he was going to find a match for her. Rose and Alice could not begin to understand why Bella had never told them she was sick. They knew something was wrong but not to this extreme. They joined Edward in his conquest. Making posters and telling everyone that would listen. Teachers got involved as well, they told students that if they at least got tested to see if they were a match that they would receive extra credit. When Angela heard how close Bella was to death, she joined Edward and the girls and helped compile information about Bone Marrow transplants, so that any student willing to donate knew exactly what they were getting into.

Rose and Alice were handing out pamphlets now, desperate to find their friend help. Rose was trying to explain to the students surrounding them about what the donor will go through.  
You would be under anesthesia; a needle will be inserted into either the hip or the breastbone to take out marrow. After awakening, you might feel some pain where the needle was inserted. That is all there is to it please we all need to help Bella.

Tanya needed that extra credit she was five points away from failing. She decided to go get tested, she didn t think she would match but at least she would have the note from the hospital showing that she tried. Tanya was hopeful that Edward would forget about Bella and only be concerned about her. Why on earth would he want to spend all his time at a dreadful hospital watching her die?

It was that moment that the nurse decided to interrupt her thoughts. Tanya, good news you re a match!

What? That can t be.

This is wonderful news I will get you all the information you need about donating.

No!

But you were tested I thought you wanted to donate.

I m sorry I just can t do it. She hurriedly left the hospital.

A match was found but they weren t willing to donate I need to know who? Who would be so heartless to be tested and not willing to help?

Angela helped him hack into the records to find out who would be so cruel. Edward and Angela had both gotten tested right away neither was a match.

Tanya Denalli

Angela turned to Edward to see a look of surprise and devastation How could she do this, I didn t even know that she got tested. She is so cold hearted and selfish

Edward, go talk to her, maybe she has a good reason.

Edward went right then and there to see Tanya. He didn t even knock just stormed right into her dorm.

Do you think that if she dies I will love her any less? He was screaming.

No I

How could you not do this I know it s a serious operation but you will come out fine?

Edward, please don t yell at me I need you

Her life is ending quickly she needs me and now she needs you.

Did you ever think that I might need you to?

Why Tanya because you started sleeping around Don t! Don t you dare look surprised you flaunt the new you all over campus everyone knows. It is not my fault that you are destroying yourself. You dumped me.

Gee Edward maybe because you were in love with someone else.

Tanya I loved you don t play me.

I never questioned that you loved me, but loving someone and being in love are two totally different things.

I don t know what you mean I treated you with love and respect I don t know how you can even sit here and argue this.

Think about it. When you think of her you smile, she s dying and you still smile. You get butterflies in your stomach, you see fireworks. You want nothing more than to hold her in your arms it doesn t matter what she does, you love her regardless. When you think of me you don t smile you just think of Tanya you don t get goose bumps and feel all those crazy hormones.

Tanya, I m sorry but I can t help how I feel about her. I Love you both in completely different ways. Right now she needs you to make the right decision.

I just can t do it I m sorry. 


	10. Chapter 10

Edward spent every day at the hospital on her better days they played cards when she was really sick he would hold her and read to her. They would reminisce about times they had spent together.

One night while Bella was lying alone in her room watching old reruns of Friends, Angela came in and sat beside the bed.

I am so sorry.

Remember this show?

Bella, I

Angela it doesn t matter now just sit here with me.

When Bella finally dozed off Angela leaned over and brushed her forehead with her lips.

I love you so much your like a sister to me I am so sorry for not being here for you I was to scared I thought if I stopped being friends with you that I would care about you less that it wouldn t hurt so much that you were so sick.

Bella continued to sleep but a smile seemed to form on her lips.

Edward was continuously at the hospital with her he was sleeping there and cutting classes. She yelled at him and told him to live his life and stop wasting his time on her at that exact moment a song came on the radio and his face lit up; He picked her up and slow danced with her holding onto her so she wouldn t fall over. He sang along into her ear.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain Now you've decided to show me the same But no sweet, vain exits or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie I have my freedom, but I don't have much time Faith has been broken, tears must be cried Let's do some living after love dies Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Bella I want to spend as much time as possible here with you. My classes will be there when you get better. He laid her back onto her bed.

I m not getting any better. Do you really want to stay here and watch me die?

Stop talking like that we will find you a donor I promise. He had never told her about Tanya it broke his heart that the one person that matched her wasn t willing to help. He felt as if it was his fault maybe if Tanya hadn t felt so strongly about him she would be willing to help. He had considered going back to Tanya but he didn t think that being in a relationship with her would change her mind. She knew the truth about how he felt.

Tanya was staring at them through the window. She had been standing out here for an hour watching them. They had not even noticed. She could see just by the way Edward looked at Bella that they were meant to be together. Tanya decided to enter the room.

They both looked up at her as she walked in. Edward looked surprised and angry. Bella smiled.

Hi Tanya, please sit down.

Bella, I needed to talk with you alone if you don t mind.

Edward, please leave us ladies for a moment. Go get yourself something to eat.

Edward reluctant to go kissed her on the forehead and whispered. I won t be long my love. He kept looking back as he walked out of the room. He hoped that Tanya wasn t going to upset her.

Tanya, is everything ok?

Well, I need to know more about this bone marrow stuff?

Ok, why?

Bella, I have been tested and I am a match for you. I need to know what will happen if it will definitely make you better.

Tears streamed out of Bella s eyes. O wow, I never expected you to even get tested, and I never expected anyone to be a match. Tanya, having a bone marrow transplant is my only shot at survival; it is not a guarantee though.

I am so scared Bella. I know it is selfish of me to be scared when I might help you live but I can t help it Tanya was crying now. She was crying for her crying for Bella and crying for Edward.

I understand, you don t even like me why would you want to under go something so serious for me. I get it and trust me I don t think your selfish at all. It s ok if you decide not to go through with it. No one has to know what we talked about today.

But Edward

He can think that you came up here to talk about the play and how much better you would have done as Elphaba.

Bella, He didn t tell you?

Tell me what?

He found out that I was a match. He came to my house screaming at me for not helping you.

I will handle Edward; you do what is best for you and don t worry about me there might still be another match out there.

Tanya and Bella hugged. When Tanya left Bella hugged her knees to her chest and let it all out. Why is this happening to me? I don t want to die.

Edward caught her crying. He sat next to her and pulled her onto his lap. Shh baby what is the matter?

I don t want to die Edward.

So Tanya must not have been here to tell her about the bone marrow that selfish bitch.

Baby I won t let that happen, everyone at school is still coming in to be tested we even raised money to run a commercial we are going to have someone help you I swear it.

Edward, let s be realistic, we are running out of time. I m getting worse everyday. There is no help for me. You should just say goodbye to me now, go back to living your life. You are losing it all for me.

Bella that is not going to happen, I am not leaving here until I get to drive you home.

She just held him close and refused to let him go. She needed to be strong for him let him be in denial she knew the horrible truth.


	11. Chapter 11

Tanya wanted nothing more than to push thoughts of Bella and Edward far from her mind. She was afraid of the procedure, she knew how selfish it was of her but she just couldn t help it. Ever since she was a little kid she was terrified of hospitals doctors everything that had to do with being sick. She kept thinking of his face and the pain in it while he was looking at Bella, watching her die.

Tanya loved Edward she truly did; she loved him enough to let him know he would be happier with someone else. But now she was jeopardizing that happiness. If Bella dies Edward will never get over it and he will never forgive me.

Tanya was a smart girl with a big heart even if she didn t always show it. She picked up the receiver and dialed.

Dr Carlise came into Bella s room; Edward looked up at the man with fear in his eyes.

Bella, my dear

How long, doc?

I beg your pardon?

How much longer do I have?

Actually, I have some news. We need to prep you immediately we have a donor.

Edward grabbed her and hugged her tight. I told you baby I told you to just hold on. I love you so much it is all going to be all right and I am going to be right here when you wake up.

Bella sat there in disbelief afraid she was dreaming afraid to wake up to reality.

Edward had to leave the room the doctor needed to discuss everything with Bella and needed her complete focus. It was there that he saw her. But could it really be Tanya, in a hospital gown?

Tanya.

Startled she turned to look at him.

O Tanya does this mean what I think it does.

She just nodded. He could see how scared she truly was. Thank you so much. You have a one way ticket to heaven now.

Edward, you do realize that this might not save her.

What do you mean?

Well her body could reject it. Just because I am a match doesn t mean that her body will accept my marrow. I don t mean to scare you but you need to know this before you get your hopes up.

Tanya I am meant to spend my life with this girl, unless God is truly evil she is going to make it though this I just know it. He kissed her on the forehead.

When the procedure was over they took Bella to an isolation unit. She needed to be kept as safe from infections as possible. She was terrified that after all this her body might reject the new cells, might decide to attack them. For the first time since her mother died she prayed.

Dear God, please help me stay strong for Edward no matter what happens to me. I need him to come out of this with the least amount of pain possible. God I really do love him. I have no idea why you brought him into my life but I sure am glad you did.

Angela joined Edward in the waiting room.

How is she?

I don t quite know, she is being held in isolation right now I can t go see her but I have been praying and I just know that she is going to be alright.

Do you think she will ever forgive me?

Edward glanced at Angela confused.

I left her; I knew how sick she was and I stopped coming up here I just left her. I couldn t take it. I had to hear you rag on her for how terrible she was for leaving you and I had promised her I wouldn t say anything to you about her being sick so I sat there and ragged on her to you to, the whole time knowing that she was dying.

You kept your word and I know how much she loves you she will understand I just wish I knew why it is that she didn t want me to know. I would have been there for her this whole time I missed out on so much with her.

She was afraid to tell you. Afraid that you would turn and leave her the way I eventually did and the other part that knew you better that knew you would stay that part of her didn t want you to watch her die she knew breaking up with you would hurt you but she knew you having to experience her death would hurt you that much more.

Didn t she realize that I would want to spend as much time with her as possible?

Did she ever tell you about her mom?

No she rarely mentioned her parents I figured she didn t speak to them.

Bella loved her mother very much. They were best friends they spoke about everything openly they had no secrets. Her mother raised her practically alone she was her hero. Well Renee died when Bella was 16. She had lung cancer, Bella was there from the moment the diagnosis left the Doctors lips she saw the fear in her mothers eyes and she went through every treatment she stayed by her side until Renee finally died.

Wouldn t she want me to do the same for her?

Edward it broke her heart she was never the same except for the times that she spoke to me of you.

So she was trying to protect me?

She was trying to protect you, if I know Bella I know that she has probably been miserable ever since she broke up with you. I guarantee that she has thought of you every night and wished that you were by her side.

I want to marry her, I have since I met her even if she is going to die tomorrow I want her to be my wife.

Angela just hugged him.


End file.
